I pledge loyalty to Astralis for the rest of my days

and on this oath I take a vow

to be the best damn guildy I can be

and upon swearing this, if I fail,

my life though it was well shall descend into the veil.

-amen. 

PLAY BALL




Ziggis

Here are the official OI times

When you have an

'I Hate My Job’ day

[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days.]

Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the

thermometer section and purchase

a rectal thermometer made by

Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and

disconnect the phone so

you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable

clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not

become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and

read it carefully .

You will notice that in small print there is this statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer

Made by Johnson & Johnson

is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud

five times,

'I am so glad

I do not work in the thermometer

quality control department at

Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,

THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE

WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A

PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!

If you haven't got a smile on your face

And laughter in your heart...

Maybe you should go and work

for Johnson and Johnson!

Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!